Kindergarten is Too Late - Masaru Ibuka

“Kindergarten is Too Late” by Masaru Ibuka

Summary of main ideas

1. Every child can be good at studies. It all depends on the teaching method.
2. Bringing up a genius is not the aim of early child development.
3. A newborn baby can distinguish objects by association and listen to the music. A child under one year old can swim. A child under three years old can memorize any information.
4. The people who surround the child play a determining role his development. The genes are of secondary importance.
5. Children surrounded by bright colors and a variety of sounds develop much quicker than those who always stay at home.
6. It’s useful for your baby’s development if you often hold him in your arms, sleep together and talk to him as much as possible. Harmonious relationships between mother and father are one of the main underlying reasons for the child’s sound development. Father’s role should be as important as the mother’s.
7. Children should communicate with other children. Quarrels are pat of the first experience in a social group.
8. Upbringing principles. The most effective way to get a child to do something is to ignite his interest. By repeating the same tale many times you ensure it’s in your child's memory. Children’s fantasies develop their creativity. You should develop your child’s intuition. Telling the truth about sexual relations is very important.
9. Playing musical instruments develops the ability to concentrate. Early development helps generate leadership qualities and train the memory. You should surround your child with beauty to teach him to appreciate it. Emphasize his achievements: one success stimulates another. Creativity and skills. Give a pencil to your child as soon as soon as possible. Let him try many different materials and texture. Do not buy so many toys for your child if you want him to be exceptional: it’s better to create new games together with your child. It is wrong to avoid everything that can be dangerous for a kid: he can use a needle or a hammer under his parents’ supervision and then on his own. It’s better to buy the toys which a child can use by himself; things like modeling and origami stimulate early development; role-playing games encourage the creativity; walking is very useful. For kids, play and work are equal.
10. Things that you shouldn’t avoid. A preview of things ahead: early development is not preparation for kindergarten, and you don’t have to always use prohibitions and restrictions while bringing up your child.

What is this book about?

This book is about the principal paths of early child development. It touches upon the ideas of how to make your child ready for the modern world. You will learn about the parents’ role in child upbringing, about the amount of time you should spend with your child and the results you can achieve by spending time together.

About the author

1. The author of this book is not a specialist of child education or development, which makes him free from prejudices formed by standard theories.
2. He is the co-founder of Sony, one of those people who helped Japan rise from the ashes.
3. He is an executive director of Early Development Association and the head of an organization which trains and educates talented children.

Summary

According to Masaru Ibuka, a child can achieve anything. Adults may work very hard while studying something new, but still not get the result they anticipate. Let us look at the children under 3 years old. They develop a lot during a very short time. They learn to walk and speak and they can easily study a foreign language at the same time or learn how to play some instrument.

The author of this book established the unique Early Development Association in Japan, where he analyzes in detail all the aspects of children under 3 years old.

1. Important period
There is an opinion that the abilities and temperament are inborn features and that it’s clear since birth whether a child is smart or not. The author carefully studied the brain physiology features and child psychology, and he found out that child experience under 3 years old is the basis for a development of his mental abilities. As a rule, parents think that the best time for a child development begins after 3 years old, but according to Masaru Ibuka, it is too late.

Every child can be good at studies. It all depends on the teaching method. Usually if the child has developmental lag his parents don’t intend to develop his skills and talents. They think that learning to read and write will be enough for their kid. But the experience of Dr. Shinichi Suzuki showed that even children with a developmental lag can be well-educated.

Bringing up a genius is not the aim of early child development. The real purpose of it is to make the child feel better in the modern society. Studying foreign languages empowers children with an ability to communicate with different people and new cultures. The aim is not to bring up a professor of linguistics, but a broad-minded person. All people are born practically the same if they don’t have any developmental lag. Upbringing determines the personality.

The structure of the brain is formed by the age of 3. Most new-born nerve cells are not functioning; they are steadily connecting and forming solid bonds. Almost all the bases are formed by the age of 3. It doesn’t mean that there is no use to develop and educate the child after 3 years old, but it is necessary to begin his development under this age.

It is important to give a child as much knowledge as possible. Plenty of lessons can affect the child, but on the other hand, if you give a full freedom to your kid, as many of psychologists suggest, it also won’t lead him to any positive result. Lessons should be based on games. This method will be convenient for a child.

What can a little child do?
Little kids have a gift to distinguish the objects by associations, therefore it is necessary to teach him by means of using different images. It is difficult for a child to understand what the number «9» is, but he can easily understand, what the «giraffe» and «fox» are. They even can memorize spelling. Children also can perceive the music from the early age. The researches have shown that even five-month-old can have musical preferences. Classical music is perceived by children especially well.

Children under one year old can swim. According to the author of this book, to teach a child how to swim is the same thing as to teach him how to walk. Children under three years old can memorize any information, if he is interested in it.

2. Early experience influence
The people with whom the child is in contact play a determining role in child’s developing whereas the genes have secondary importance. If the parents are doctors it doesn’t mean that their child will be a doctor too. Parents’ occupation and abilities don’t influence directly on the future of their child.

We think that a child at an early age understands nothing and that is why we can say anything near him, but this is wrong. Children subconsciously understand everything and then when they grown up he will reproduce those words and behavior. That is why if the parents use bad language, it will not be surprising when their child begins use it too.

If you believe that your child should live in a very quite and calm atmosphere, without any bright colors or loud noises in his room then you hamper your child to develop. It is proven that children surrounded by bright colors and different noises develop much quicker than those who always stay at home.

Do you remember what was happening to you when you were one-year-old? 90% would answer they don’t. As a rule, all the memories are from a later age. But there is an amazing fact. If you had studied many languages in your childhood, and then used only one of them, you probably would remember the foreign language you had learned if you found yourself among the people who spoke it. You should give your child as many skills and knowledge as possible, because it will be very useful for him in the future.

3. What is useful for a child?
There are no general rules or recipes in upbringing. Every parent should choose his own style of a child developing according to his abilities and peculiarities.

You should take your baby in the arms often. There is a notion that if you have your kid in your arms all the time, then he begins to obtain everything he wants by means of crying. But it may be more harmful if you leave him alone with his problem. The more often you take your child in the arms the more chances that he will become a sympathetic person.

There is another prejudice that it is bad to sleep together with your child, because then it may become a problem to move him out of your bed. But on the other hand when you bring your child to the bed after the hard day and sleep together it may not only calm you and your kid, but also help to make a close emotional connection between the two of you.

You should talk with your child as much as possible. The experiment has shown that even an hour of talk a day makes your kid speak sooner. So the more you talk the more positive results in speaking your child will achieve.

Parents shouldn’t lisp with children. Even if you think that he doesn’t understand another language, you shouldn’t do that. The child understands everything, it is just his organs of articulation which can’t produce the words in a right way. Lisping will deprive your child of the right to speak properly.

One of the main rule for child development is the harmonious relationships between mother and father. You may think that your kid is too little and understands nothing. There is a true in this opinion, he doesn’t understand the words, but subconsciously he feels some negative energy, which can be very harmful for him.

Father should be on a par with mother. As a rule, mother takes a greater part in child upbringing, but still the kid needs father as well as mother. That’s why you should make an effort to provide a full interaction of all the family members.

Children should communicate with children. Socializing is a very important for kids as well as for adults. Children begin understand other people by chatting and playing with other children. Let your kid communicate and develop with other kids. That will bring him a lot of pleasure and also be very useful.

Quarrels are the first child’s experience in a social group. Often kids quarrel because of toys, swing or something else. Quarrels may teach your child to press his claims or to look for compromises. There is no quarrel without a reason. You shouldn’t criticize your child for his quarreling with somebody. This is just an experience without which he may become a closed person who doesn’t communicate with anybody.

You should be very careful with praises and punishments. As a rule, we notice only wrong actions and very often criticize our children. But if he did something wrong it means that he had some motivation. It’s much better to show him the right way of doing something instead of criticizing. Of course, there are situations when it is necessary to press your claims and punish the kid, but you shouldn’t embellish with it.

4. Upbringing principles

1. Stimulation and love of order
The most effective way to make a child doing something is to provoke his interest. You can force your kid to study, but it will just result in that he will come to hate lessons. The aim of the parents is to provoke a great interest for studying. That way it will be a pleasure for him to get knowledge.

A child at an early age doesn’t understand what is bad and what is good. Good things for him are interesting one’s and vice-versa. Good things – when he will be praised and bad thing – when he will be punished. A little child doesn’t understand the reasons he is criticized, but criticism provokes negative emotions. Adults press on children their way to distinguish good and bad things. The abilities of your kid will develop according the way you use praises and criticize.

Practice makes perfect. Curiosity provokes an aspiration for development. If you read one story many times, you will provoke an interest of your child to read it on his own, so he should learn reading and so on. Children’s fantasies develop their creativity. Let him a freedom in imagination and don’t press on him with your own ideas. This is the way to form a creative person.

It is important to develop intuition in your child. Intuition is a very important feeling, in spite of the fact that it nearly impossible to explain scientifically. As a rule, a child always acts instinctively. You shouldn’t press the intuition of your kid and so you help him to develop his six sense.

It’s very important to tell the truth about sex. If you think that sex is a discussion only for a later age, then you are wrong. This theme is very interesting to your child and if you say nothing, you will provoke even a greater interest. You should explain to your kind the differences between the men and women, tell him about how the babies appear. Your child should have firsthand information about the topic.

2. Temper upbringing in infancy. 
Playing musical instruments develops the ability to concentrate. As a rule, those children who attend some musical lessons are accurate and self-disciplined. If parents provoke an interest of their child he will attend his music classes with a great pleasure. Concentration will help him in the future to work more productively than a person who can’t concentrate. Of course, that will help him with studying as well. The development on the early stage forms leadership qualities. Many people think that such qualities should be developing in later age, but this is wrong. The earlier you begin to develop leadership qualities in your child the better results he will achieve in the future.

It is very important to train your child’s memory. Children can memorize about two hundred short poems under the age of three. But if they don’t use their ability to memorize, their potential is not realized. A kid should enjoy his actions so you should learn poems he likes with him and in this case a couple of repetitions will be enough.

It is necessary to surround your child with beauty from his birth. Let him listen only good and high-quality music see the most beautiful pictures created by mankind. By cultivating the love of art and aesthetics you give your kid an ability to know the world and to distinguish what is bad and what is good.

One success stimulates another. Let your child try different activities to make him businesslike.

3. Creativity and skills

Give a pencil to your child as soon as soon as possible. Eight-month-old can hold a pencil, but even if you give it to a baby and put a sheet of paper beside him, he won’t draw on a paper. He is most likely to tear it in pieces and begins to draw on the walls or on the table. This is his way of self-expression. You should organize the conditions for your kid to let him draw where he wants. By this means you stimulate the development of his creativity.

Standard crayon paper means typical person. By giving a standard crayon paper and grey pencil you take him away of creativity. Child’s vision differs from the vision of adult. Give a big sheet of paper to your kid and let him draw everything he wants.

You shouldn’t buy many toys for your child if you want him to be creative. Too many toys distract his attention. It is much better for him to have a couple of toys and have him invent many new games with them. Children can turn an old pan into the dragon’s cave of princess’ house. That is why you should give him freedom of imagination.

It is wrong to avoid everything which can be dangerous for a kid. You try to protect your child against all dangers, but those dangers teach him which things he can take and which can’t. It’s better to let him touch all the objects he wants, let him try many different materials and textures. This way your little explorer will learn more about the world.

By buying the toys which a child can arrange by himself you stimulate his interest and therefore he can enjoy the success.

Such things as modeling applique work and origami stimulates the child development, therefore those should be the most available ones. If you give clay to a eight-year-old he will hardly begin to model, but he will touch it and notice that it can change the form or he can notice that paper can be crumpled or torn. Those children who try different forms and textures from early childhood are more developed that those who don’t.

Role-playing games encourage the creativeness. Children adore being in the center of attention. Let your child play different roles. Attending drama classes will improve his public speaking skills, which are very important.

Walking is very useful for children. It stimulates brain activity, improve physical shape and emotional condition. Let your child walk!

Very often parents think that it all depends upon the genes. For example, if the parents are sportsmen, they believe that their kid must be a sportsman too, but he won’t if they don’t develop the aspiration for sport and motion activity. Children with less sport potential can achieve more if they were engaged in sports while growing up.

Plays and work are equal for children. Result is the most important part of work for adults whereas for children process is the most important one. You should make your child help around the house. By performing his duties at home a kid studies how to concentrate on the process and be responsible for his actions.

4. The things that you shouldn’t avoid. A preview of things ahead.

The development on the early age is not the preparation for a kindergarten. The modern educational system is not perfect; it is directed at getting marks and passing exams, but not for developing knowledge in children. The development at the early age helps kids to avoid school difficulties.

You should bring up your child in atmosphere of love and care. You are the most important teacher to your kid and you can give him more than the most advanced professor. The development on the early age depends on the attention and conscientiousness of those people who are in contact with the child.

Children are not the property of their parents. Very often parents think like that: «I want my daughter to become a musician» or «I want my son to become an engineer». But those are only parents’ dreams. Child is an independent person with his right to choose his course of life. Parents just can help their child to achieve success.

It is necessary to teach your child to trust other people and that way there will be a world peacе.

Parenting Skills: Positive Reframing

Positive reframing can shore up children’s confidence as well. Credit: iStock

Leo Kanner, author of the first textbook on child psychiatry, used to tell anecdotes about two mothers he knew.

One complained that her sons would spread the Sunday comics on the living room floor to read them.

The other, whose sons had done the same thing as children, said it was one of her fondest memories.

He used to argue that the second mother was the better parent, because she had a more positive attitude.

But what was behind that positive attitude?

Perhaps the mother was thinking about how her children were honing their reading skills. Or, how they were sharing both comics and floor space without fighting.

In other words, she was most likely engaging in what we now call positive reframing, the practice of either focusing on the positive aspects of a bothersome situation or just looking at it differently.

Positive reframing helps us see our children, and our children see themselves in a more favourable light.

If this approach is applied to how we view children, the technique can prevent us from overreacting.

Adolescents
When an adolescent does all those adolescent things, such as leaving her room a mess and spending too much time texting, we can take refuge in the knowledge that by challenging authority and connecting with friends, she is working through an important developmental stage.

Positive reframing can help us understand children from different cultures, too.

For example, Native American students often resist participating in competitive learning games such as spelling bees, causing some teachers to see them as disengaged.

However, when the students' resistance is understood as an expression of a cultural bias toward cooperation over competition, the teacher can see strength in it.

Overcoming Aversions
Applied to helping kids interpret their own behaviour, positive reframing can foster growth. It can help overcome aversions, as it did for one young boy who hated bath time.

Knowing he enjoyed war play, his mother got him to see the bath as a place to enact sea battles, bringing in toy ships and using bubble bath to simulate foamy waves.

The mother of a reluctant eater presented broccoli as "dino trees"—which her "brontosaurus" son would then devour.

Fighting Sleep
A couple with a daughter who resisted going to sleep because her room was dark and scary held a dance party in the dark, after which she associated being in the dark with having a good time.

Positive reframing can shore up children's confidence as well.

On the last play of an important ball game, the right fielder on a children's team I coached, dropped a line-drive fly ball (???), which allowed our opponents to score the winning run.

When the boy came to me distraught, I shared what the pitcher had told me, that his last pitch was too easy to hit, resulting in a hard-to-catch line drive.

I also reminded the boy that before the game, I had denied him time in the outfield to practice 'shagging fly balls.'(???)

He went from thinking he had blown the game to understanding that several factors had contributed to our team's loss.

Finally
Even some of the toughest behaviour problems often respond to positive reframing. For instance, when a first-grader made a beeline for the coloured pencils by walking on chairs and desktops, his teacher said, "That's a great idea to use coloured pencils for your journal and you got them all by yourself."

She went on to suggest that in the future, he keep his feet on the floor, which he agreed to do.

Another teacher, faced with a student, James, who suddenly jumped up from a class meeting and started to dance, turned to his classmates and said matter-of-factly, "James likes to dance." James responded by sitting down and rejoining the meeting.

The developmental psychologist Jerome Bruner praises the unflappable Head Start teacher who, while reading "Little Red Riding Hood" to her young students, was stopped short at the famous lines "All the better to eat you!" line.

At this point, one little boy leapt to his feet, furious, and began cursing the wolf, swearing like a sailor. The teacher simply reflected to herself on how much meaning the boy was finding in the story and then asked him how he would have written it differently. The question got him thinking and quieted him down.

We might try to emulate that teacher's self-possession and know-how the next time a kid's shenanigans drive us to salty language ourselves.

Remember, looking on the bright side is for anyone who wants to help children develop while preserving their own sanity.

Writing a Better CV

Creating a winning CV is a feat of strategy involving focus, wording, design, and content selection.

To achieve a career marketing document that wins interviews, all areas of the strategy must be spot-on and consciously used in the most effective manner.

One of the most common mistakes job candidates make when writing their CVs is the mistake of not paying attention to strategy and word selection.

There are actually words that are commonly used on CVs that can have a detrimental impact on the effectiveness of the CV.

When most job candidates write their own CVs, they don't consider word choice because they are primarily worried about getting down the basic information.

Verbiage is critical and the wrong word choice can sabotage your CV.

The average agent and/or hiring manager sees hundreds of CVs from qualified candidates. CVs begin to look and sound the same to them. Here are some words and phrases to avoid:

Soft-skill Descriptions
Job seekers feel they need to communicate their soft-skills to the employer because they believe they are the traits that make them unique. There is nothing further from the truth. Soft-skills are so common that hiring managers pay no attention to them.

Soft-skill phrases to avoid or severely limit:

• Excellent communication skills
• Strong work ethic
• Personable presenter
• Detail-oriented

Do not bore the reader to tears with these trite, overused and tired phrases. After all, no one will write that he/she takes long lunches, is lazy, and argues a lot with peers.

Hence, it is much more effective to write description that is action-based and demonstrates these abilities rather than just laying claim to them.

For example, rather than just stating you are an "excellent presenter," you could say "Developed and presented 50+ multi-media presentations to prospects resulting in 35 new accounts totalling £300,000 in new revenues."

Age, Health, Appearance
Many seasoned job seekers are facing that scary time warp known as pre-retirement and fear age discrimination. They feel they can counter this perceived hurdle by giving description of their age or health. Such description can be death to a CV because rather than helping, it significantly hurts.

Age, health, appearance phrases to avoid:
- Youthful
- Athletic
- Fit
- Healthy
- Mature

Additionally, unless specifically requested, there is no need to include personal information such as date of birth, marital status, children or other similar information. This information is typically used to exclude candidates from consideration in the hiring process rather than include them. Unless the employer specifically asks, keep this information confidential.

Passive Voice
Many people write in passive voice because that is how we've been taught to write "formally" in lower school composition. The problem with passive voice, however, is that it is just that -- passive! A CV needs to have punch and sparkle and communicate an active, aggressive candidate. Passive voice does not accomplish that.

Indicators of the passive voice:

- Responsible for
- Duties included
- Served as
- Actions encompassed

Rather than saying "Responsible for management of three direct reports" change it up to "Managed 3 direct reports." It is a shorter, more direct mode of writing and adds impact to the way the CV reads.

On the flip side, whilst action verbs are great, don't overdo it. I have actually seen:
- Smashed numbers through the roof
- Electrified sales team to produce
- Pushed close rate by 10 per cent

Consider your word choice in a CV
A CV is a marketing document for your career just as a brochure is a marketing document for a product or service.

Companies put careful thought and consideration into each and every word that goes into marketing copy and you should do the same in your CV.

These words stand in your place with the employer and need to showcase you in a powerful way. In a perfect world, these things would not matter, but in the reality of job search today, they matter a great deal. 

Be wise -- stop and give some thought to the words you choose.

Peculiar behaviours witnessed in job interviews

Are you on the job hunt and ready to go on your next interview?

Then you should definitely be prepared to avoid the most common interview mistakes.

Dress appropriately, turn off your cell phone, do your research about the company and prepare the most common interview questions.

Appearing disinterested is the No. 1 turnoff for employers.

Also trying too hard to make a lasting impression on a prospective employer in an interview could backfire.

The most common and most outlandish job interview mistakes to avoid, hiring managers provided real-life examples of the most peculiar behaviours they witnessed in job interviews:

• Being asked about the reasons why he quit his last position in a bank, a candidate said it was because he was always tempted to steal.
• Another jobseeker denied that he had a cell phone with him even though it could be heard ringing in the briefcase beside him.
• The next candidate emptied the employer's candy dish into her pocket.
• This applicant was quite honest about his weaknesses. He said he didn't like getting up early and didn't like to read.
• Trying to hide away from the taxman? The candidate asked to be paid "under the table."
• He must have meant it as a friendly gesture. The candidate reached over and placed a hand on the interviewer's knee.
• The candidate commented that he would do whatever it takes to get the job done, legal or not.
• This candidate's interview must have gone really well. He hugged the president of the company.
• The next jobseeker must have been very hungry. He called his wife to see what they were having for dinner.
• Another candidate asked to postpone the start date so she could still get holiday gifts from vendors at her current job.
• This job applicant called in sick to her current employer during the interview, faking an illness.
• The candidate said he didn't want the job if he had to work a lot.
• The next jobseeker wouldn't answer a question because he thought they would steal his idea and not hire him.

A job interview can be one of the most nerve-wracking experiences out there, so it's important to plan and practice.

Have a friend run through a mock interview with you, asking questions you think will come up and some curve balls you're not expecting.

Thoroughly research the company ahead of time and draft responses that incorporate your accomplishments.
The more prepared you are, the less likely you are to run into mishaps.

Interview Body Language

It takes just seconds for an interviewer to make a judgement about a candidate - often before they even speak.

'Human beings use many channels of communication to express themselves.'

'In the past, it was thought that verbal channels were the most important - i.e., what a person expresses in words and writing - but in recent years the study of non-verbal communication has made some interesting discoveries.

'We now know that humans are highly skilled at reading each other's body language to understand what a person is thinking and feeling, and that we do this subconsciously.'

In fact, experts estimate that 93 per cent of the information we receive about any situation comes non-verbally rather than verbally.

'We make our initial judgement about a person based almost entirely on their body language in as little as 20 seconds.'

In an interview situation, those seconds could have a major impact on your future.

Make eye contact
You'll want to establish rapport with the interviewer as quickly as possible - and eye contact, along with a warm smile, is one of the best ways to make a connection.

'Good eye contact tells your interviewer that you are confident enough to - literally - look them in the eye. It also creates a relationship between you, albeit temporarily, that makes them more sympathetic to you.'

While that may sound simple enough, getting it right isn't always easy. The difference between just enough and too much can be subtle.

'Hold eye contact too strongly or for too long and it can seem threatening.'

'Instead, look towards the interviewer's eyes for a while, then away - focussing on their mouth as they speak rather than staring into their eyes.'

Don't forget to smile either. If you're feeling anxious you're likely to frown, but a smile - even a nervous one - can help to get things off to a friendly start.

The hand shake
While most body language cues are interpreted subconsciously, the hand shake is a physical contact that the interview is likely to remember.

Confidence is key here - a limp handshake or a barely-there connection can be awkward, so take the offered hand confidently. While it should be firm, avoid a crushing pressure.

Few of us shake hands every day - if you're not confident, enlist the help of friends to feedback on your handshake and practice until it comes naturally.

Take a seat...
Once the introductions and small talk is over, you'll be invited to take a seat - here again, body language matters.

'When you sit down, face your interviewer directly then angle yourself ever so slightly. Sitting opposite them shows you're confident and honest, while positioning yourself at a slight angle avoids coming across as confrontational.'

'And try to avoid any positions that may seem even unconsciously sexual - crossed legs in a short skirt for her or open legs for him.'

Many candidates make the mistake of concentrating too hard on what they want to get across - rather than listening to what's being asked.

Paying attention - and demonstrating that through your body language - can help in more ways than one.

'A slight tilt of the head as the interviewer talks will let them feel listened to and taken seriously - while some (but not too many gestures) as you talk will help them focus and pay more attention to what you're saying.'

Sitting upright and leaning in slightly will also signal that you're interested in what's being said.

'While it's not a good idea to spend your interview grinning broadly, try to avoid scowling or frowning.'

'An interviewer - like all other human beings - wants to feel you are friendly, so smiling appropriately at their comments, as well as nodding when you agree, will help them warm to you,' adds Susan.

Mirror with confidence
A more advanced form of building rapport is to use the mirroring technique - where you deliberately match your body language to that of the other person.

'There's a lot been written about the importance of "mirroring" gesture and expression as a way to build rapport quickly.'

'It does work, but only when it's genuinely a sign that you are in tune with your interviewer; mirror as a deliberate strategy and any experienced interviewer will spot your intention and mark you down.'

'A better and more subtle way is to relax, soften your body language, and observe your interviewer, allowing yourself to follow their posture, gesture and expression naturally as you feel more in tune with them.

Body language beyond the interview
Improving your awareness of body language doesn't just help during the interview - it can also prove useful throughout the rest of your career.

'You can use your own body language to create rapport and cooperation in others by making sure that you are "in step" with them.

'For example, a stressful meeting can often be de-stressed by pitching your voice tone to match others - then when you've got their attention, gradually lowering the volume of what you are saying to calm the atmosphere.'

While knowledge of body language can be useful for spotting what people are thinking and feeling, Susan is keen to point out that there are no "rules".

'You can't say one signal means one thing, such as crossed arms and defensiveness - it could be that someone is crossing their arms to keep warm in a cold room.

But if you know that a colleague usually does cross his arms when he's defensive, remember that signal and - if you see it - act to defuse the situation.'