Kindergarten is Too Late - Masaru Ibuka

“Kindergarten is Too Late” by Masaru Ibuka

Summary of main ideas

1. Every child can be good at studies. It all depends on the teaching method.
2. Bringing up a genius is not the aim of early child development.
3. A newborn baby can distinguish objects by association and listen to the music. A child under one year old can swim. A child under three years old can memorize any information.
4. The people who surround the child play a determining role his development. The genes are of secondary importance.
5. Children surrounded by bright colors and a variety of sounds develop much quicker than those who always stay at home.
6. It’s useful for your baby’s development if you often hold him in your arms, sleep together and talk to him as much as possible. Harmonious relationships between mother and father are one of the main underlying reasons for the child’s sound development. Father’s role should be as important as the mother’s.
7. Children should communicate with other children. Quarrels are pat of the first experience in a social group.
8. Upbringing principles. The most effective way to get a child to do something is to ignite his interest. By repeating the same tale many times you ensure it’s in your child's memory. Children’s fantasies develop their creativity. You should develop your child’s intuition. Telling the truth about sexual relations is very important.
9. Playing musical instruments develops the ability to concentrate. Early development helps generate leadership qualities and train the memory. You should surround your child with beauty to teach him to appreciate it. Emphasize his achievements: one success stimulates another. Creativity and skills. Give a pencil to your child as soon as soon as possible. Let him try many different materials and texture. Do not buy so many toys for your child if you want him to be exceptional: it’s better to create new games together with your child. It is wrong to avoid everything that can be dangerous for a kid: he can use a needle or a hammer under his parents’ supervision and then on his own. It’s better to buy the toys which a child can use by himself; things like modeling and origami stimulate early development; role-playing games encourage the creativity; walking is very useful. For kids, play and work are equal.
10. Things that you shouldn’t avoid. A preview of things ahead: early development is not preparation for kindergarten, and you don’t have to always use prohibitions and restrictions while bringing up your child.

What is this book about?

This book is about the principal paths of early child development. It touches upon the ideas of how to make your child ready for the modern world. You will learn about the parents’ role in child upbringing, about the amount of time you should spend with your child and the results you can achieve by spending time together.

About the author

1. The author of this book is not a specialist of child education or development, which makes him free from prejudices formed by standard theories.
2. He is the co-founder of Sony, one of those people who helped Japan rise from the ashes.
3. He is an executive director of Early Development Association and the head of an organization which trains and educates talented children.

Summary

According to Masaru Ibuka, a child can achieve anything. Adults may work very hard while studying something new, but still not get the result they anticipate. Let us look at the children under 3 years old. They develop a lot during a very short time. They learn to walk and speak and they can easily study a foreign language at the same time or learn how to play some instrument.

The author of this book established the unique Early Development Association in Japan, where he analyzes in detail all the aspects of children under 3 years old.

1. Important period
There is an opinion that the abilities and temperament are inborn features and that it’s clear since birth whether a child is smart or not. The author carefully studied the brain physiology features and child psychology, and he found out that child experience under 3 years old is the basis for a development of his mental abilities. As a rule, parents think that the best time for a child development begins after 3 years old, but according to Masaru Ibuka, it is too late.

Every child can be good at studies. It all depends on the teaching method. Usually if the child has developmental lag his parents don’t intend to develop his skills and talents. They think that learning to read and write will be enough for their kid. But the experience of Dr. Shinichi Suzuki showed that even children with a developmental lag can be well-educated.

Bringing up a genius is not the aim of early child development. The real purpose of it is to make the child feel better in the modern society. Studying foreign languages empowers children with an ability to communicate with different people and new cultures. The aim is not to bring up a professor of linguistics, but a broad-minded person. All people are born practically the same if they don’t have any developmental lag. Upbringing determines the personality.

The structure of the brain is formed by the age of 3. Most new-born nerve cells are not functioning; they are steadily connecting and forming solid bonds. Almost all the bases are formed by the age of 3. It doesn’t mean that there is no use to develop and educate the child after 3 years old, but it is necessary to begin his development under this age.

It is important to give a child as much knowledge as possible. Plenty of lessons can affect the child, but on the other hand, if you give a full freedom to your kid, as many of psychologists suggest, it also won’t lead him to any positive result. Lessons should be based on games. This method will be convenient for a child.

What can a little child do?
Little kids have a gift to distinguish the objects by associations, therefore it is necessary to teach him by means of using different images. It is difficult for a child to understand what the number «9» is, but he can easily understand, what the «giraffe» and «fox» are. They even can memorize spelling. Children also can perceive the music from the early age. The researches have shown that even five-month-old can have musical preferences. Classical music is perceived by children especially well.

Children under one year old can swim. According to the author of this book, to teach a child how to swim is the same thing as to teach him how to walk. Children under three years old can memorize any information, if he is interested in it.

2. Early experience influence
The people with whom the child is in contact play a determining role in child’s developing whereas the genes have secondary importance. If the parents are doctors it doesn’t mean that their child will be a doctor too. Parents’ occupation and abilities don’t influence directly on the future of their child.

We think that a child at an early age understands nothing and that is why we can say anything near him, but this is wrong. Children subconsciously understand everything and then when they grown up he will reproduce those words and behavior. That is why if the parents use bad language, it will not be surprising when their child begins use it too.

If you believe that your child should live in a very quite and calm atmosphere, without any bright colors or loud noises in his room then you hamper your child to develop. It is proven that children surrounded by bright colors and different noises develop much quicker than those who always stay at home.

Do you remember what was happening to you when you were one-year-old? 90% would answer they don’t. As a rule, all the memories are from a later age. But there is an amazing fact. If you had studied many languages in your childhood, and then used only one of them, you probably would remember the foreign language you had learned if you found yourself among the people who spoke it. You should give your child as many skills and knowledge as possible, because it will be very useful for him in the future.

3. What is useful for a child?
There are no general rules or recipes in upbringing. Every parent should choose his own style of a child developing according to his abilities and peculiarities.

You should take your baby in the arms often. There is a notion that if you have your kid in your arms all the time, then he begins to obtain everything he wants by means of crying. But it may be more harmful if you leave him alone with his problem. The more often you take your child in the arms the more chances that he will become a sympathetic person.

There is another prejudice that it is bad to sleep together with your child, because then it may become a problem to move him out of your bed. But on the other hand when you bring your child to the bed after the hard day and sleep together it may not only calm you and your kid, but also help to make a close emotional connection between the two of you.

You should talk with your child as much as possible. The experiment has shown that even an hour of talk a day makes your kid speak sooner. So the more you talk the more positive results in speaking your child will achieve.

Parents shouldn’t lisp with children. Even if you think that he doesn’t understand another language, you shouldn’t do that. The child understands everything, it is just his organs of articulation which can’t produce the words in a right way. Lisping will deprive your child of the right to speak properly.

One of the main rule for child development is the harmonious relationships between mother and father. You may think that your kid is too little and understands nothing. There is a true in this opinion, he doesn’t understand the words, but subconsciously he feels some negative energy, which can be very harmful for him.

Father should be on a par with mother. As a rule, mother takes a greater part in child upbringing, but still the kid needs father as well as mother. That’s why you should make an effort to provide a full interaction of all the family members.

Children should communicate with children. Socializing is a very important for kids as well as for adults. Children begin understand other people by chatting and playing with other children. Let your kid communicate and develop with other kids. That will bring him a lot of pleasure and also be very useful.

Quarrels are the first child’s experience in a social group. Often kids quarrel because of toys, swing or something else. Quarrels may teach your child to press his claims or to look for compromises. There is no quarrel without a reason. You shouldn’t criticize your child for his quarreling with somebody. This is just an experience without which he may become a closed person who doesn’t communicate with anybody.

You should be very careful with praises and punishments. As a rule, we notice only wrong actions and very often criticize our children. But if he did something wrong it means that he had some motivation. It’s much better to show him the right way of doing something instead of criticizing. Of course, there are situations when it is necessary to press your claims and punish the kid, but you shouldn’t embellish with it.

4. Upbringing principles

1. Stimulation and love of order
The most effective way to make a child doing something is to provoke his interest. You can force your kid to study, but it will just result in that he will come to hate lessons. The aim of the parents is to provoke a great interest for studying. That way it will be a pleasure for him to get knowledge.

A child at an early age doesn’t understand what is bad and what is good. Good things for him are interesting one’s and vice-versa. Good things – when he will be praised and bad thing – when he will be punished. A little child doesn’t understand the reasons he is criticized, but criticism provokes negative emotions. Adults press on children their way to distinguish good and bad things. The abilities of your kid will develop according the way you use praises and criticize.

Practice makes perfect. Curiosity provokes an aspiration for development. If you read one story many times, you will provoke an interest of your child to read it on his own, so he should learn reading and so on. Children’s fantasies develop their creativity. Let him a freedom in imagination and don’t press on him with your own ideas. This is the way to form a creative person.

It is important to develop intuition in your child. Intuition is a very important feeling, in spite of the fact that it nearly impossible to explain scientifically. As a rule, a child always acts instinctively. You shouldn’t press the intuition of your kid and so you help him to develop his six sense.

It’s very important to tell the truth about sex. If you think that sex is a discussion only for a later age, then you are wrong. This theme is very interesting to your child and if you say nothing, you will provoke even a greater interest. You should explain to your kind the differences between the men and women, tell him about how the babies appear. Your child should have firsthand information about the topic.

2. Temper upbringing in infancy. 
Playing musical instruments develops the ability to concentrate. As a rule, those children who attend some musical lessons are accurate and self-disciplined. If parents provoke an interest of their child he will attend his music classes with a great pleasure. Concentration will help him in the future to work more productively than a person who can’t concentrate. Of course, that will help him with studying as well. The development on the early stage forms leadership qualities. Many people think that such qualities should be developing in later age, but this is wrong. The earlier you begin to develop leadership qualities in your child the better results he will achieve in the future.

It is very important to train your child’s memory. Children can memorize about two hundred short poems under the age of three. But if they don’t use their ability to memorize, their potential is not realized. A kid should enjoy his actions so you should learn poems he likes with him and in this case a couple of repetitions will be enough.

It is necessary to surround your child with beauty from his birth. Let him listen only good and high-quality music see the most beautiful pictures created by mankind. By cultivating the love of art and aesthetics you give your kid an ability to know the world and to distinguish what is bad and what is good.

One success stimulates another. Let your child try different activities to make him businesslike.

3. Creativity and skills

Give a pencil to your child as soon as soon as possible. Eight-month-old can hold a pencil, but even if you give it to a baby and put a sheet of paper beside him, he won’t draw on a paper. He is most likely to tear it in pieces and begins to draw on the walls or on the table. This is his way of self-expression. You should organize the conditions for your kid to let him draw where he wants. By this means you stimulate the development of his creativity.

Standard crayon paper means typical person. By giving a standard crayon paper and grey pencil you take him away of creativity. Child’s vision differs from the vision of adult. Give a big sheet of paper to your kid and let him draw everything he wants.

You shouldn’t buy many toys for your child if you want him to be creative. Too many toys distract his attention. It is much better for him to have a couple of toys and have him invent many new games with them. Children can turn an old pan into the dragon’s cave of princess’ house. That is why you should give him freedom of imagination.

It is wrong to avoid everything which can be dangerous for a kid. You try to protect your child against all dangers, but those dangers teach him which things he can take and which can’t. It’s better to let him touch all the objects he wants, let him try many different materials and textures. This way your little explorer will learn more about the world.

By buying the toys which a child can arrange by himself you stimulate his interest and therefore he can enjoy the success.

Such things as modeling applique work and origami stimulates the child development, therefore those should be the most available ones. If you give clay to a eight-year-old he will hardly begin to model, but he will touch it and notice that it can change the form or he can notice that paper can be crumpled or torn. Those children who try different forms and textures from early childhood are more developed that those who don’t.

Role-playing games encourage the creativeness. Children adore being in the center of attention. Let your child play different roles. Attending drama classes will improve his public speaking skills, which are very important.

Walking is very useful for children. It stimulates brain activity, improve physical shape and emotional condition. Let your child walk!

Very often parents think that it all depends upon the genes. For example, if the parents are sportsmen, they believe that their kid must be a sportsman too, but he won’t if they don’t develop the aspiration for sport and motion activity. Children with less sport potential can achieve more if they were engaged in sports while growing up.

Plays and work are equal for children. Result is the most important part of work for adults whereas for children process is the most important one. You should make your child help around the house. By performing his duties at home a kid studies how to concentrate on the process and be responsible for his actions.

4. The things that you shouldn’t avoid. A preview of things ahead.

The development on the early age is not the preparation for a kindergarten. The modern educational system is not perfect; it is directed at getting marks and passing exams, but not for developing knowledge in children. The development at the early age helps kids to avoid school difficulties.

You should bring up your child in atmosphere of love and care. You are the most important teacher to your kid and you can give him more than the most advanced professor. The development on the early age depends on the attention and conscientiousness of those people who are in contact with the child.

Children are not the property of their parents. Very often parents think like that: «I want my daughter to become a musician» or «I want my son to become an engineer». But those are only parents’ dreams. Child is an independent person with his right to choose his course of life. Parents just can help their child to achieve success.

It is necessary to teach your child to trust other people and that way there will be a world peacе.

Parenting Skills: Positive Reframing

Positive reframing can shore up children’s confidence as well. Credit: iStock

Leo Kanner, author of the first textbook on child psychiatry, used to tell anecdotes about two mothers he knew.

One complained that her sons would spread the Sunday comics on the living room floor to read them.

The other, whose sons had done the same thing as children, said it was one of her fondest memories.

He used to argue that the second mother was the better parent, because she had a more positive attitude.

But what was behind that positive attitude?

Perhaps the mother was thinking about how her children were honing their reading skills. Or, how they were sharing both comics and floor space without fighting.

In other words, she was most likely engaging in what we now call positive reframing, the practice of either focusing on the positive aspects of a bothersome situation or just looking at it differently.

Positive reframing helps us see our children, and our children see themselves in a more favourable light.

If this approach is applied to how we view children, the technique can prevent us from overreacting.

Adolescents
When an adolescent does all those adolescent things, such as leaving her room a mess and spending too much time texting, we can take refuge in the knowledge that by challenging authority and connecting with friends, she is working through an important developmental stage.

Positive reframing can help us understand children from different cultures, too.

For example, Native American students often resist participating in competitive learning games such as spelling bees, causing some teachers to see them as disengaged.

However, when the students' resistance is understood as an expression of a cultural bias toward cooperation over competition, the teacher can see strength in it.

Overcoming Aversions
Applied to helping kids interpret their own behaviour, positive reframing can foster growth. It can help overcome aversions, as it did for one young boy who hated bath time.

Knowing he enjoyed war play, his mother got him to see the bath as a place to enact sea battles, bringing in toy ships and using bubble bath to simulate foamy waves.

The mother of a reluctant eater presented broccoli as "dino trees"—which her "brontosaurus" son would then devour.

Fighting Sleep
A couple with a daughter who resisted going to sleep because her room was dark and scary held a dance party in the dark, after which she associated being in the dark with having a good time.

Positive reframing can shore up children's confidence as well.

On the last play of an important ball game, the right fielder on a children's team I coached, dropped a line-drive fly ball (???), which allowed our opponents to score the winning run.

When the boy came to me distraught, I shared what the pitcher had told me, that his last pitch was too easy to hit, resulting in a hard-to-catch line drive.

I also reminded the boy that before the game, I had denied him time in the outfield to practice 'shagging fly balls.'(???)

He went from thinking he had blown the game to understanding that several factors had contributed to our team's loss.

Finally
Even some of the toughest behaviour problems often respond to positive reframing. For instance, when a first-grader made a beeline for the coloured pencils by walking on chairs and desktops, his teacher said, "That's a great idea to use coloured pencils for your journal and you got them all by yourself."

She went on to suggest that in the future, he keep his feet on the floor, which he agreed to do.

Another teacher, faced with a student, James, who suddenly jumped up from a class meeting and started to dance, turned to his classmates and said matter-of-factly, "James likes to dance." James responded by sitting down and rejoining the meeting.

The developmental psychologist Jerome Bruner praises the unflappable Head Start teacher who, while reading "Little Red Riding Hood" to her young students, was stopped short at the famous lines "All the better to eat you!" line.

At this point, one little boy leapt to his feet, furious, and began cursing the wolf, swearing like a sailor. The teacher simply reflected to herself on how much meaning the boy was finding in the story and then asked him how he would have written it differently. The question got him thinking and quieted him down.

We might try to emulate that teacher's self-possession and know-how the next time a kid's shenanigans drive us to salty language ourselves.

Remember, looking on the bright side is for anyone who wants to help children develop while preserving their own sanity.

Schools - Parents of dyslexic children take control!

‘Schools’ - Parents of dyslexic children take control! | Dyslexic Brian

GOOD NEWS
There are thousands of great schools out there that are jam packed with brilliant teacher who know exactly how to support and encourage dyslexic children to learn to read, write and do well at school.

These teachers support dyslexic children to learn without them feeling too much (if any) negative difference between themselves and the other children in the class… These teachers have a knack for assisting dyslexic children to build up their confidence, self-esteem, self-belief, etc… These teachers are able to stimulate the minds of dyslexic children and show them that ‘learning’ is fun and worthwhile… Wow for teachers like this!

BAD NEWS
Unfortunately there are some ‘Schools of Dyslexia DOOM’ within the system. These schools seem to have a bit of an ‘anti-dyslexia culture’ going on. Some times this may show itself in very subtle ways that you can’t quite put your finger on – but you can feel it nevertheless.

Some times it may show itself in the attitudes of the teachers who just don’t believe that dyslexia exists – in which case you will be fighting a loosing battle to get your child the support they deserve.

Conclusion
Reading and writing are just skills that anyone who puts their mind to it can learn to do – dyslexic people are no exception here!

Addictive and Abusive Behaviour in Children

A new US survey has found that more and more American teens are participating in abusive and addictive behaviours i.e. smoking pot, abusing pain killers and using illicitly-obtained stimulants prescribed to treat Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
15.9 percent of tenth graders reported using marijuana in the last month. The percentage of eighth graders who considered using ecstasy once or twice a dangerous activity decreased from 42.5 percent in 2004 to 26 percent in 2009.

Abusive Activities
It isn’t just drugs our kids are addicted to. Kids are now playing a very dangerous and abusive game called “the choking game”. This “game” is an abusive activity that involves them choking one another or using improvised nooses to cut off the essential oxygen supply to the brain, just long enough to feel “high” and not long enough to black out, hopefully.

Self Harm
Teens are also using sugary drinks and food as a drug. This comfort eating is causing obesity rates to soar. These are simply avoidance and coping strategies that children are using to avoid facing what's happening in their lives and in the world today. It's like saying that anything will do to get them away from reality.

Obesity in children has the effect of excluding a child from normal competitive activities, not just sports but social activities involving interactivity and relationships between the sexes. This is a more 'comfortable' place for the child to inhabit and once established, it is very difficult to leave.

Positive re-enforcement
Obesity in children can be induced by parents trying to deminstrate their love in an inappropriate way and because the food is provided by a loving, comforting person, the child associates the food with love and comfort. It is this positive re-enforcement that is difficult to overcome.

Technology abuse
Marijuana, pain medication, stimulants, the choking game or fast food are not necessarily the biggest “drugs” to which kids are addicted. They are using their iPods, DSIs, YouTube, reality TV and the modern cult of 'celebrity' as escapism.

They are doing this to shut down their minds, avoid dealing with their feelings and emotions. They have come to substitute these unpredictable and complex emotions with the simpler on/off “high” of being lead by technology and have become voyeurs to other people's distress and emotions, displayed to them on a screen, and categorised as 'entertainment.'

At What Cost?
The price that humanity will pay for raising a generation of substance, technology and artificially stimulated emotion addicts, is probably incalculable. We can certainly expect that teenagers using pot, painkillers, choking each other for kicks, etc will be unable to resolve their emotional and psychological issues, in this way.

Consequently, they face an increased rate not only of repetative substance dependence, underpinned by depression and anxiety and associated physiological disorders, e.g. hypertension, cardiac disease, malignancy, etc.

Puberty and Sex
Unresolved emotional conflicts during puberty lead to greater risk taking in sexual exploration and intercourse becomes the 'perceived' answer. After all that's what the glossy magazines, films, pop stars and popular personalities advocate.

If our young people turn to sex to resolve issues, we can expect higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases, over the next ten years. We have to anticipate more violence from both sexes, because our young people are evolving into adults with little or no real experience or guidance as to how they manage their emotions, including anger, envy and jealousy.

Avoidance of Disruptive Interruptions
There is also a higher likelihood of repeatedly turning to street drugs, to try to contain or avoid the uncomfortable feelings and emotions that arise everyday and in normal human interaction.


Their psyche is broadcasting emotional shockwaves that their immature brains do not understand and cannot, or do not want to, deal with. Therefore it grasps at a familiar avoidance tactic. The drug induced solution turns off or turns down, the level of consciousness and therefore the need to deal with this disruptive 'interruption.'


Life-threatening events
If the distraction becomes a life-threatening event, as in the 'choking' game, then the brain is forced to re-calculate it's priorities. The internal alarm systems trigger and the more dominant and instinctive reactions that are pre-programmed to sustain the life of any human, take over. They stabalises and normalises the body's physiological functions.


The release of adrenalin and nor-adrenalin during these traumatic events create a 'high' feeling, as well as dispelling and discarding any 'non'essential' thoughts, emotions and activities. The troubled thought have been extinguished but only for a limited space of time and is has been done at a huge cost to the body.


There are better ways to resolve troubled thoughts. Ways that are more effective and not only less damaging but also more beneficial and soothing to the psyche.

Muffled Senses
All of this activity can be reduced to the simple adage that you need to get 'high' to enjoy life and to fully participate in life's great adventure. We need to be intoxicated in some, less cognitive and have a more distorted or muffled sense of our present reality. This comes from the 'brand' and 'lifestyle' marketing that our children are faced with all day every day. They have grown up with it, you, as parents have not.

Don't Panic!
I believe there is still hope for our children and that hope is in the parents' hands. Your role, as a parent or guardian, is to show them the pleasure and joy that can exist in being with other people, interacting in a playful non-threatening way, listening to the experiences of their elders or people from other countries.

Show them the benefit of cooperation and collaborative play, the value of each link in the chain of events that leads to a succesful outcome and the resolution of troubling issues. The pessimistic view is too painful to endorse and with effort, it can be changed from this point on. As their parents or guardians, take the lead and break their addiction in a positive, loving and supportive way.

You are invited to share your experiences, successes and concerns with me here. Please post a comment.

Children's Fear of Adults Re-enforced

Last month in Bedfordshire, 270 children from four primary schools had their annual sports day without the normal audience of proud parents watching them compete.

All adults were banned except teachers.

The reason? The organisers could not guarantee that an unsupervised adult might not molest a child.

They preferred the certainty of ruining the pleasure of hundreds, and the instilling of general paranoia, to the phenomenally slight possibility of a sexual attack.

This is part of an insidious new orthodoxy that’s taking hold: that only authorised adults have any business engaging with children. It is no longer just about sexual abuse.

In Twickenham last month the mother of a five– year-old who was being bullied decided to talk to the offender. She knelt by his chair and asked him politely to stop. The next day she was banned from the classroom for doing something that would have been regarded as rational and responsible behaviour at any other time in the past century.

Much worse was to happen a few days later to Anisa Borsberry, from Tyne and Wear, whose 11-year-old was being bullied by agroup of girls. She, too, asked the bullies to stop. In retaliation, and knowing what a powerful weapon this was to use against an adult, the girls claimed Borsberry had assaulted them. Within hours they admitted lying.

Nevertheless, the accusation of assault against a child is regarded as so serious that Borsberry was handcuffed in her home and held in police cells for five hours before hearing that no further action was being taken.

Or there is the case of Carol Hill, the Essex dinner lady threatened with dismissal for telling a mother she was sorry her daughter had been tied up and whipped in the playground. Normal, empathetic human behaviour, you might think. That wasn’t the school’s reaction. Hill was suspended for breaching “pupil confidentiality”.

In every one of these cases a woman has been punished for daring to do what adults have always done in every society: uphold norms of behaviour by talking about them. But it has blown up in their faces because new unwritten rules about engaging with children are apparently being invented every day. The extent of society’s neurosis means the consequences of approaching children are becoming alarmingly unpredictable.